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Sex on the Schedule 4/20/2000
A married couple went to see a cousilor due to an unhappy
relationship in the past two months. After listening each
of them complain about their personal lifestyles he asked
them if they even having a "sexual relationship". They
both agreed that the sex part of it is good although it's
difficult to schedule a particualar time between their
work schedules. The counsilor was flabbergasted ...
4 Comments, 176 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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City of Los Angeles High School Proficiency Test 4/20/2000
1. Johnny has an AK-47 with a forty round clip. If he misses six shots
out of ten shots and shoots thirteen times at each drive-by shooting,
how many drive-bys can he do before he has to re-load?
2. Jose has two ounces of cocaine. He sells an eight-ball to Jackson
for $320.00 and two grams to Billy for $65.00 per gram. What is the
street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
0 Votes
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Sexy Jokes 4/17/2000
Sunbathing
<br>
A rather well proportioned young lady, Joan, spent almost all of her
vacation sunbathing on the roof of the hotel. She wore a bathing suit
the first day but, on the second, being a naturist, she decided that
no one could see her way up there, so she slipped out of it for an
overall tan.
She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She
was ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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ALABAMA 3RD GRADER 4/13/2000
AN ALABAMA FAMILY MOVED TO TENNESSEE AND ENROLLED THEIR
IN ELEMENTRY SCHOOL. AFTER THE FIRST DAY THE FATHER
SAID "WELL HOW WAS YOUR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL?" SAYS
GREAT DAD THEY HAVE A CLASS UP HERE CALLED P.E. YOU GET TO
PLAY FOR A WHOLE HOUR. AND GUESS WHAT DAD? I GOT ALL THE REBOUNDS
IN BASKETBALL. THATS CUZ YOU ARE FROM ALABAMA BOY, SAYS
DAD. AND DAD I RAN FASTER THAN EVERYBODY IN MY ...
0 Comments, 18 Views,
0 Votes
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VIAGRA FOR YOU DEAR 4/13/2000
A TRAVELING SALESMAN WAS A THOUSAND MILES FROM HOME. HE
FINALLY PROCURED SOME VIAGRA FROM A STREET VENDER. HE WAS
SO EXCITED HE CALLED HOME IMMEDIATELY TO TELL HIS WIFE.
HONEY YOU KNOW IT HAS BEEN YEARS SINCE I COULD GET IT UP WITH
YOU? WELL IVE GOT VIAGRA AND I WILL BE HOME NEXT WEEK! THE
WIFE BEING SO COMPASSIONATE SAID DONT WAIT A WEEK I KNOW
ITS BEEN YEARS FOR YOU AND YOU HAVE ...
0 Comments, 27 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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free drinks 4/12/2000
THREE GUYS WERE DRINKING IN AN INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT LOUNGE.THE
FIRST GUY, FROM ENGLAND, WAS BRAGGING ABOUT HIS FAVORITE
BAR IN LONDON. "I KNOW A BAR WHERE EVERY OTHER DRINK IN FREE."
THE SECOND GUY, FROM ITALY, WAS BRAGGING ABOUT HIS FAVRITE
BAR IN ROME. "I KNOW A BAR IN ROME WHERE YOU BUY ONE DRINK THEN
THE NEXT TWO ARE FREE! THIS GOES ON ALL NIGHT BUY ONE GET TWO
FREE! WELL THE THIRD ...
0 Comments, 14 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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here are some funny jokes 4/9/2000
1)How is a woman and a tornado alike?---in the begining theres alot of
sucking and blowing but in the end you loose your house.
2)What does a woman and a condom have in common? they spend more time
in your wallet then on your dick.
3)If the dove is the true meaning of peace what bird is the true
meaning of love?....the swallow.
4)Why do women fake orgasms? because they think men ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
0 Votes
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mouth like a bird cage. 2/21/2000
Two female roomates are sitting having breakast one morning
after a pretty heavy night before. One turns to the other
an says "Boy my mouth feels like the bottom of a bird cage."
the other replies, " I'm not surprise you had a cock or twoin it last night
0 Comments, 13 Views,
0 Votes
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definition of indecect? 2/1/2000
Q: Whats the definition of indecent?
A: If long enough, hard enough and in far enough its indecent!
0 Comments, 12 Views,
0 Votes
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COP ON A . 12/27/1999
THIS MOUNTED POLICEMAN WAS SITING ON HIS WHEN A
ON A BRAND NEW BIKE PULLS UP. THE COP ASKES "HEY THEIR , DID SANTA
BRING YOU THAT BIKE FOR CHRISTMAS?" THE BOY REPLIES "YES SIR HE DID."
THE COP THEN SAYS "WELL NEXT YEAR TELL SANTA TO PUT A TAILLIGHT ON
THAT BIKE." AND THEN PROCEDES TO GIVE HIM A $20 DOLLAR
FINE FOR A BICYCLE SAFTEY VIOLATION. THE WAS STARTING TO RIDE OFF
WHEN HE ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
0 Votes
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ole and lena sex story 12/20/1999
lena was at the store one day and bought a pair of crotchless
panties to surprise ole with. so she went home put some music
on turned down the lights and finally put on only her new
crotchless panties and waited for ole to come home. when
he finally did come home he seen the lights were dimmed and
heard the music and then he heard lena calling hm seductively
from the bedroom .so he walks ...
0 Comments, 10 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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freeride 12/13/1999
Two fleas are scheduled to meet in Miami once winter hits. One arrives weeks before the other, and once the second arrives he is hypothermic and near dead. The second flea sees the first so comfortable and asks how he did it, the first replies that he simply crawls up a stewardess's dress and waits where it is nice and warm, and suggests that the other flea try the same. So the next year the ...
3 Comments, 183 Views,
9 Votes
,1.93 Score
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How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? 12/3/1999
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs,
breasts, and thighs.
1 Comments, 29 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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MY DAD HAS TWO PRICKS 11/29/1999
One day John visited his neighbor, Mr. Palmer. When he got there Mr. Palmer was painting the housing a brush, John being boastful said, "My Dad has to of those." Mr. Palmer smile at him and continued working.
Later, Mr. Palmer was doing a higher section of the house so he climbed his ladder to continue painting and again John said " My day has two ladders." Once again Mr. Palmer smiled at ...
0 Comments, 91 Views,
0 Votes
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A guy walks into a bar... 11/16/1999
A guy walks into a tavern, and has a seat at the bar. As
he's sipping his drink he notices a jar stuffed with $100
bills sitting behind the cash register.
He asks the bartender "what's the deal with the jar full of
hundreds?" The bartender replies "It's a contest we have
here, whoever can complete three tasks wins the all the
money in the jar. The entry fee is $100, though.
The guy ...
0 Comments, 40 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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butt ugly pickup artist 10/28/1999
A man is sitting in a bar accross from an incredibly beautiful woman. Pretty soon the ugliest guy he has ever seen sits down and starts talking to her. After just a few minutes they get up together and leave. The next week he is in the same bar and another beutiful woman is sitting at the bar and the same thing happens. The incredibly ugly man sits down talks with her for a couple of minutes and ...
0 Comments, 79 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Two little boys 10/17/1999
Joey and Timmy meet in the hospital ward prior to surgery.
Timmy is obviously nervous, so Joey asks, "Are you
alright?"
"I'm getting my tonsils out and I'm kinda scared, " said
Timmy.
Oh, I had my tonsils out last year. You'll just have a
sore throat. Then they'll bring you ice cream!" said Joey.
"Oh, I guess that's ok 'cause I like ice cream. What are
you here for?"
"I'm having a ...
1 Comments, 74 Views,
0 Votes
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Great Night of Sex 9/13/1999
A social misfit walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.
“What are you so happy about?” asks the Barman.
“Well I’ll tell you,” replies the ugly bloke, “you know I live by the
railway, well on my way home last night I noticed a young woman tied to
the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and
took her back to my ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Naryan Dutt Tiwari 7/14/1999
Once a person was admitted to a hospital, as he mat an accident. While sponging him the nurse, a bold brunette, noticed that the patient has lots of name written on her body. She asked the patient the reason of such name being written on his body. He told her that he had an hobby of writing names of some celibirity and big people on his body. While sponging his crotch area the nurse noticed that ...
0 Comments, 117 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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THE CASTAWAY ENGINEER 6/29/1999
A rather inhibited computer engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the "craziest" thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a 's toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island.
Outside of beautiful ...
0 Comments, 49 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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ABOUT POLITICS 6/29/1999
This little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well , let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby ...
0 Comments, 54 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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Jokes for U 6/23/1999
Joke#1
An old man went to his doctor and complained that he had toilet problems
'Well, let's see', said the doctor,'How is your urination?'
'Every morning at seven o'clock on the dot'.
'Good. How about your bowel movements ? '
'Eight o'clock each morning as regular as could be'
'So what's the problem?' asked the Doctor.
'I don't wake up until nine!'
Joke#2
A big game hunter was engaged by a ...
3 Comments, 139 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Lord Shiva's wish ( Love automation ) 6/23/1999
Lord Shiva granted Manu a wish.
Manu : I want my penis to increase/ decrease in size as per my wish.
Lord Shiva : Ok. If you clap your hands the size of your penis will increase.
Manu : But I also wish to decrease it's size when required.
Lord : Don't worry if you snap your fingers the size will decrease.
Manu : Thank you ,lord.
One day,Manu left his home to visit his friend Raja. On his
way he ...
3 Comments, 124 Views,
4 Votes
,0.14 Score
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Walking Lane 6/23/1999
Lord Shiva was waiting at the door to heaven. He was to decide posting's of candidates based on their merit.
Merit Criteria :
1. If a candidate was faithful to his/her spouse, he/she was given a "Mercedes Benz" to enjoy his life in heaven.
2. If a candidate had engaged in sex with a neighbour he/she was given a "Two-wheeler" to enjoy his life in heaven.
3. If a candidate had engaged in ...
3 Comments, 126 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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I know the truth 6/15/1999
At school a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
The boy decides to go home and try it out. He goes home and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased ...
0 Comments, 376 Views,
18 Votes
,6.94 Score
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