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Prof10001 63M
4094 posts
6/28/2017 5:23 am

Your situation resonates with me on a couple of notes. (Notice how I didn't mix my metaphors.) I'm hardly one to give advice on cheating. I didn't for decades, now I do. If anyone wants the whole back story, they can ask, or they can read a few dozen of my blog posts from years ago. But I reached a tipping point. The guilt and concern with hurting someone eventually was over balanced by the desire for more sexual fun and adventure. Tacky but true. Probably similar to many stories on this site.

My stronger reaction was to you writing that you couldn't confer with anyone in your day to day life. I feel this so often. There is no one in my everyday life who knows about my being here or the thoughts and desires that brought me here. I find it so curious that I can type the whole truth to an anonymous stranger in a chat room but can't say the same thing out loud in my own home.

No answers for you. Though I did have the thought that many husbands would jump at the chance to share their wife with a sexy woman. Perhaps he is in another place entirely, but I'd be delighted to discover that my wife wanted adventures with others to add to the mix.

Best of luck,

Prof10001
Swing by my blog!


positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
6/28/2017 6:33 am

I can't relate totally because I am hetero. But, if a former lover married someone and came back to me with his " I'm unhappy and miss you" story, I would have to tell him, sorry, that is where you went and I choose not to be a party to your deceit.
It would be unfair to me first of all, and unfair to his woman. If you only care about yourself and your feelings, then go for it. But I see you have your morals and I highly doubt you would be happy sneaking around. Honesty is always the best. Like Prof said, maybe the husband would be okay with it. Some men don't mind another woman for her.


pocogato12 71F  
37235 posts
6/28/2017 6:49 am

You have to be honest. To be any other way is disloyal to yourself ( to thine own self be true). Tell her to seek some counseling either alone or with her husband
and to please leave you out of it. It may put a hold on your friendship or blast an hole in it. On the other hand it may take the friendship to another perspective when she realizes that what you value is important to your life and she might realize that she needs to examine herself. And in the meantime, maybe you need a new friend

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


montecarlo37 45M
298 posts
6/28/2017 7:29 am

Now that she's married to someone else.. she has no right to envy you.. or bully you.. its all you now. and you do what you like best... that's your life and your way of living...


guy4frot2 64M
899 posts
6/28/2017 2:34 pm

I think you're doing the right thing by recognising your dilemma (and temptation) and seeking advice. I read it that she probably regrets her decision to marry this guy and she longs for what she had with you. However, I don't think it's ever good to go back in time because our accumulated experiences and wisdom means we are different people to a few years ago, so there's a risk of disappointment and misunderstandings. Things are never the same if you attempt to go back to what you had before.

I agree with Poco – if she wants to unpack her feelings she needs an expert counsellor and it's unfair to burden you with that duty as you're conflicted due to your previous relationship.

As in all relationship tensions, the best thing she can do is be honest with her partner and talk their way through it. She needs to find what it will take for him to 'make her wet'.

View my blog guy4frot2


citizen4722 66M  
74582 posts
6/29/2017 3:53 pm

It's not fair that your friend is putting pressure on you knowing your views on fidelity.
Could you perhaps not see her as often and maybe keep your distance for now?


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