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Temple of the Dog  

40Deuce 46M
4633 posts
9/18/2018 6:02 pm

Last Read:
9/19/2018 6:01 pm

Temple of the Dog


Would you drive 4 hours for 150 dollars ? That's the dilemma I find myself in . That's 35 bucks an hour which is pretty good but when you break it down like that I always find myself in trouble . Such as when I'm at work and I think about my hourly wage and I contemplate "is it worth that amount of money to be here right now for an hour ?" the answer is always no . In the olden days 200 dollars was the standard purse for a big time wrestling match so that seems like a good minimum to do anything that takes much time or effort .

Ladies ? WINK

As you all know I hate the term "doggy style" but I love said style . I've tried before to get other names off the ground and into the common parlance but nothing has taken off . Most often I've tried to popularize the term "X-Files style" because doing it from behind returned to prominence in 1994 as a way for people to have sex and still both be able to watch the X-Files without on person looking at the screen upside down .

And YES I know that you could do it cowgirl and look back over your shoulder but craning your neck like that is really bad .

In screenplays/teleplays when they're diagramming a sex scene they call that "rear entry" which first of all has NO cache and secondly sounds like anal .

In the kama sutra it's called congress of the cow , aka cow style , which is obviously no better and maybe a little worse .

In the animal kingdom they call it presenting which no , just no .

But I've been thinking about this a lot and I think the reason why my previously attempts at rebranding the style that shall not be named is because I wasn't on theme .

Consider this - the two other baseline positions are Missionary and Cowgirl . And those are people kinds of people and/or jobs . The key to coming up with a good replacement is sticking with that theme . Not only that but when you think of missionaries and cowgirls what do you think of ? The old west , I mean not the real old west but the fake Hollywood one from Dances with Wolves , the Revenant , True Grit , Django Unchained , Rango , Blazing Saddles , Wild Wild West , Butch Cassidy and the Sundance and the like . BTW those are supposedly the top grossing Westerns which is shameful since only 2 of them are actually westerns .

The point is my new genre appropriate name for "doggy style" , which will soon be a term no one remembers , is Gunslinger .

Please discontinue all use of doggy style and start saying Gunslinger .

Did you know that some couples find gunslinger relationship-affirming , as it requires and implies a level of trust and a surrender of control by the receiving to the active partner ? I didn't . Also I don't really know what that means . How is gunslinger more vulnerable than missionary ? With missionary you're basically trapped under a mountain of flesh - with gunslinger a hop , skip and a jump and you're out the door . Which is why you should always leave your bra on during Gunslinger so in the event you need to flee you don't end up with a public nudity charge .

See , I'm always watching out for you folks .

Did you know that dogging is British slang for having sex in public ? I did .

I've resolved to stop posting polls which I've been doing lately , but I did want to ask people which would you rather do -

Kiss the Gunner's

OR

Suck the Monkey

It's a trick question of course because these are old naval slang terms . I mean obviously you'd rather kiss a girl , even if you're a straight lady or gay dude , than suck a monkey dick - but Kissing the Gunner's is a euphemism for being lashed to a cannon mount and whipped whereas Sucking the Monkey means to drink the booze . Although this being AdultFriendFinder and all it's possible that Kissing the Gunner's would have won anyway .

I purchased a magazine the other day for the first time in probably 25 years - and it was 14 DAMN dollars ! Stupid Time magazine , who do they think they are ? That is literally outrageous in that I was outraged I was . It's a special issue on the science of laughter . Here's a few tidbits -

Laughing and crying provide the same release , so the next time you feel like you're about to cry think about that SNL sketch - you know the one I mean - and laugh instead

The person telling a joke laughs 43% of the time more often than the person hearing it

You're 30 times more likely to laugh when you're not alone

The thing that most reliable gets people to laugh according to neuroscientists (a hilarious bunch) is showing them a clip of someone else trying not to laugh in a situation when it would be inappropriate to do so

Laughter originated as a way for our primitive baboon ancestors to indicate they were play-fighting instead of murder-fighting , which is why tickling often causes laughter while kicking in the ribs does not . So the next time you're about to throw down start chuckling - your opponent will think you're just messing around and you'll get the advantage .

Here's a good joke . There used to be a famous thought experiment about someone born blind , if they were given sight would they be able to tell the difference been a round ball and a square block which they had "seen" by feeling all their life by looking at it . This used to be a thought experiment because we now know that the answer is "no" because people born blind have been given sight and they always think the opposite - that the block is the smooth round thing they've felt and vice versa .

The joke is that your brain does whatever it wants - data coming through the eyes or through the hands or through the ears is all just noise - the brain gives it meaning . What you see is what you've been trained to see and literally nothing else .

Consider this , you and your buddies are watching the football game and your pet cat is laying around doing cat stuff . The cat cannot see the image on the screen - so to them you're just sitting there staring at nothing . Even the voices coming from the TV don't really mean anything to them because they're not accompanied by other things that cat's use to process information - they're of no interest .

Even if a cat could learn to speak you would have a very difficult time communicating because you're experiencing very different realities . You could never really explain to the cat what the heck is going on because the way the world is shaped for each of you is not the same at all .

And this is despite the fact that you and your cat both evolved in the same world and have very similar biology .

Now , roll this forward , if an alien being - that evolved in a different world with different biology - landed on earth it's ability to understand us and what we got going on would be similarly limited . As would ours to understand it . Your brain would search for context and it would find none . To the point where you might not even register it at all .

We live and die according to how we interpret the unknown and all of human culture is that very process playing out over and over and over again .

Now that's a punchline .

Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


40Deuce 46M
5725 posts
9/18/2018 6:04 pm

Well, I saw him walking slowly 'cross the desert
The apparition flickered like a flame
The rattlensnake shook in the dust and scrawny grass surrounding
As the stranger came upon me in the strange

Well, he stepped into my shed beneath the shadows
He hunkered down and he squinted 'til he could see
And the particles and the motes of dust against the sunlight sparkled like his guns
And his blue bombadier eyes fixed on me
The same eyes that made that jawbone speak

Oh, in a red rose field, a dark tower stands
Oh, there must be a sacrifice gunslinging man
Oh, in a red rose field, a dark tower stands
Oh, there must be a sacrifice gunslinging man

Well, he sat with it and long they did palaver
Of a tower dark and a man with many names
And so we set off towards the western sea
For so the truth did go beneath the mountains on a train
Oh, it was a slow mutant train

And I saw their eyes and blasts of yellow wonder
Quick as bullets followed wicked screams
And in the dark, I fell and watched the distance growing inbetween us
And I said, "Gunslinger, there are other worlds than these!"

Oh, you'll see! There are other worlds than these!

Oh, in a red rose field a dark tower stands
Oh, there must be a sacrifice, gunslinging man
Oh be your fate tomorrow, sure as you can
Oh, there is no peace to follow, gunslinging man

Oh, in a red rose field a dark tower stands
Oh, there is no peace to follow, gunslinging man
Oh, in a red rose field a dark tower stands
Oh, there must be a sacrifice gunslinging man

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


bitchkitty2017 71F

9/18/2018 6:31 pm

I am all fucked up now geez I thought we were in the temple of the dog...and I laugh even if I am alone and be fucked again I did teach one of my male cats to say a few words and take a bow before he left the room....and again the x files are now all reruns so watching them whilst having Gunslinger style sex is also feeling like reruns not in a bad way but partners are hard to find ...so dilemma yeah !


40Deuce replies on 9/19/2018 6:02 pm:
I think a cat can only courtesy technically

smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
9/18/2018 8:46 pm

Catch up on some podcasts or listen to an audiobook while you're making the four hour drive, then it won't feel like wasted time.


40Deuce replies on 9/19/2018 6:03 pm:
We'll see , 2 hours is about my limit unless there's something REALLY good at the end

superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
9/18/2018 9:36 pm

I don't like Gunslinger. How about Saloon Door style? That split down the center could look like saloon doors. (I

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


40Deuce replies on 9/19/2018 6:03 pm:
Sorry no , that's an object - Saloon Keeper is the best I can do

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